We’ve all done embarrassing things while sleeping or Sleepwalking. Maybe you drank too much Tang and wet the bed. Maybe you had to share a sleeping bag with grandma and she woke you up because you had a boner–we’ve all been there.
But trust us, it can get way, way worse than that. There are records of people who, in their sleep…
In Australia, a middle-aged woman had a quirky habit. She would wake up in the middle of the night, leave her house and fuck various strangers. This proved once again that a woman doesn’t even have to be conscious to pick up dudes.
After months of her husband waking up to find their home littered with used condoms (and once finding his snoring spouse being actively nailed by a stranger) the wife and the world’s most trusting spouse decided to get medical help.
Doctors were no doubt reluctant to believe the story, most likely thinking instead that the husband was suffering from one of the world’s worst cases of gullible retardation. But the couple’s anxiety over the incidents paired with a detailed examination proved that, sure enough, her actions were completely involuntary and a strange mixture of hot and creepy.
The condition, called Sleep Sex because doctors aren’t the most creative people in the world, is caused by an REM behavioral disorder. The part of your mind that is supposed to stop you from moving when you’re dreaming doesn’t kick in, thus allowing you to actually act out your dreams.
Why that seems to only manifest itself in the form of porking strangers is anyone’s guess. Though it presumably is easier to act out that kind of dream as opposed to the one where you and Urkel team up for a kung fu battle with Satan.
One night, London police were called about a possible suicide attempt on the counterweight of a crane at a construction project, where a young girl was perched precariously 130 feet in the air. So while helpful passersby probably shouted words of encouragement or took bets on how big the splat would be, a fireman climbed the crane to try to talk her down, only to find her sleeping.
That’s right, the 15-year-old girl was sleepwalking so hard she climbed a fucking crane. Anyone who’s ever had a flying dream knows that your unconscious mind sometimes gets sick of being trapped on this shithole your waking mind calls the ground. Her mind just decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, when the firefighter found her, she’d Sleepwalking out onto a narrow beam and was in danger of having history’s most realistic “falling dream” followed immediately by the much less common “having your body collected with a huge cartoon spatula dream.”
Not wanting to alarm her and make her fall, the fireman did what any responsible public servant would and went through her personal belongings. He found her cell phone and gave her folks a call. Together, they hatched a plan to get the girl to safety. The fire fighter hung up and the parents called back, waking her up.
Apparently the girl was unlike most teenagers, and did not have an indignation-seizure at the sight of a call from her parents. Two and a half hours later, she’d safely ridden a hydraulic lift back to the ground. Her parents noted to the press that she had a long history of sleepwalking and in their dry British wit wondered aloud what she’d climb up next. At which point some crude public servant nearby probably quipped, “Probably up some strange gentleman’s dick, old chap!”
He of course would be referring to actual cases where Sleepwalking…Watch this Video which have top 10 Strangest Things People have Done While Sleepwalking
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